Serving Your Husband By Knowing Him Better

I copied this piece from a 19th century book on homemaking. I love how this simple story shows how if we listen more carefully to our husbands we will begin to understand them better. Husbands talk in such a straightforward way. There is no need to guess as to what they are thinking or what they like or dislike. If you are listening, they have probably already told you.

Oh, it won't be as easy as reading an open book, but the clues are there.

photo credit: greeblie

What are his common complaints around the house? Work very hard to eliminate them and he will be very happy.


When he speaks of his friends or others at work, what does he say about them? There will likely be clues about his pet-peeves and morals and standards.  He may talk about 'lazy so and so' or 'the one who always cuts corners'. Listen and you'll know what habits to instill in yourself and in your children.


Enjoy this little tale.


Here is a piece of advice from a very happy woman, who has lived in uninterrupted harmony with her husband for nearly twenty years. She writes me thus :—" Do you know to what I attribute a great deal of matrimonial unhappiness? It sounds trivial, but I am quite sure it is due to talking before breakfast. It is a period when most people feel rather unfit for the burdens of life, and when they naturally look on the dark side of things, and therefore it is not good to make it the time for conversation.

"When we married, my husband was quite an old bachelor in his ways, and I remember thinking it very funny when one day he told me how gloomy and irritable he felt till he had had his breakfast, and how afterwards the world looked quite different to him, and he felt able to bear all its little worries and vexations philosophically.

"I thought over my spouse's peculiarity, and after a little time I came to the conclusion that it was one in which I shared, but to a small extent only. However, I knew quite enough about the feeling to be able to sympathise, and from that time forth we made it our rule to defer all conversation till after breakfast.

"I often wish I could persuade other people to try our plan; I know many wives who say that dressing time is such an admirable one for getting the husband's undivided attention, but I am sure that it is a vast mistake to begin the discussion of ways and means, and a number of other worrying topics which require mental exertion before the body has been refreshed after its long fast by the 'cup that cheers.'"


More about serving your husband.


F as in Frank: On serving your husband

thefeltyfam.blogspot.com

"On serving your husband. I am no expert on this by any means, but it's something that was on my heart to share. I just finished reading The Power of a Praying Wife, which has inspired some of my thoughts, but most of them ..."

At the Table: Serving Your Husband - Intentional Homemaker
www.intentionalhomemaker.com

"Before I dive into a list of ways you can serve your husband, I wanted to remind all of us of an example of one lady who also served her husband. This woman is found in Proverbs 31. Here are some of the ways in which she ..."

Thankful Homemaker: Romancing Our Husbands
thankful-homemaker.blogspot.com

"Do you find yourself so busy serving your husband that you don't take the time to truly delight in him? When he enters the room do you stop and enjoy his presence and does he know you are thankful to the Lord for him?"

The Blessing of My Husband | Passionate Homemaking
www.passionatehomemaking.com

"Your husband will be different from mine and may need a different method. YOu might ask him out right, “how can I serve you?” or “what one thing could I do to bring more peace and rest into our home?” or “How can I help you ..."

Go take care of your man!

Be Careful What You Say

An account of how to keep your household affairs to yourself. I find it a wonderful reminder of how holding your tongue can benefit your husband and increase his trust in you.

What an immense relief it seems to be to some people when they have worries and troubles just to tell them to some one! I quite envy those folks the ease they get in this way, and yet it is a remedy which I should rarely venture to try on my own account.

My home troubles, for instance, are overwhelming that I don't know how to bear them alone, and, therefore, I long to tell them to my dear friend, Mrs. Kyndley, who is always so sweetly sympathetic. Then I think how tender an interest that good woman has in her neighbour's affairs. How she almost had tears in her eyes the other day when she told me about a poor lady she knew whose husband was a perfect brute to her. I remembered how she ended her story by saying: "The poor wife told me all her troubles, and begged me not to say a word of them to anybody, but, of course, it does not matter my speaking to you of them. You are not even acquainted with her, and if you were, still you are so discreet."

Though no names were mentioned, still I can make a shrewd guess sometimes, and I think I know pretty well who was the unhappy lady about whom Mrs. Kyndley was talking, and I make up my mind that I should be sorry if I were in her place to have made our friend my confidante, and, therefore, I decide that I will keep my affairs to myself.

Dear Mrs. Kyndley really is the very soul of goodness, but it is too much to expect anyone who feels and sympathizes deeply, and who, as it were, makes your trouble her own, to keep it entirely to herself. She, yon, needs to unbosom herself to some how can you be sure that, in telling do not tell your trouble to the world, there are a great many people who, without half of Mrs. Kyndley's sympathy, listen to your tale, and after promising not to speak of it straightway forget that they have made a promise at all. Then the next time they meet a friend, and the conversation happens to turn on you, all that you have shared is pretty sure to be told. It is quite likely that your confidante may ask that what she says may not be repeated, but what is the good of that?

I really think that it is best never to have a human receptacle of secrets at all if one can possibly do without one. For myself (I know it sounds terribly womanish and weak-minded) I confess that when I feel the need of confiding in some one I write down all my woes to a friend a long way off, and before posting my letter I always keep it for forty-eight hours.

It is astonishing how putting them all down on paper relieves me, and when the time for sending the letter comes, and I read it over again, I generally end by putting it into the fire. The edge has worn off the trouble, and now I find it is not more than I can manage to bear alone. As long as I have pen and paper to use, this is the way I shall make my confidences.

Understanding Domestic Economy

The following is a concisely stated summary of how wonderful it is to be a homemaker. Enjoy!

1. First let us understand what Domestic Economy means. "Domestic" comes from domus, a home or family. "Economy" comes from oikos, a house; and nomos, law, or management. These words together mean, "the management of the family house or home."

Domestic Economy is the science which teaches the right management of the family home.

2. The rightful home manager is a woman. On her the family depend for the food, clothing, cleanliness, and comfort necessary to health; and for the good nursing necessary in sickness. This science, which belongs specially to the education of girls, is of more importance than all the other arts and sciences put together. From well-managed homes go forth happy, healthy, wise, and good men and women, to fill every position in the world.

3. If a country were made up of such homes, it would be a nation healthy and happy, noble and good, wise and prosperous. The influence and power of girls are, therefore, enormous. They have more to do with success or failure, happiness or misery, than statesmen, philanthropists, and clergymen.

4. The object of this book is to help them in the acquirement of this their own most important science. Every girl who wishes to do her part towards making the world healthier, happier, wiser, and better, must study this science with a thankful sense of her own high mission.

5. The wisest man thus speaks of a good home manager: "She bringeth food from afar; she giveth meat to her household: she seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands; she is not afraid of snow, for her household they are clothed: she looketh well to their ways: her children rise up and call her blessed: her husband praiseth her: she will do him good, and not evil, all the days of his life."

Adapted from a 19th century women's book.